he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
