So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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