Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
