Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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