i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
