When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dicks are not precious.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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