Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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