she smelled like a LAN party
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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