You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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