You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
