so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
