If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
