I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
