I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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