508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
