the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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