wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
