we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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