Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
