we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
