he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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