If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
