I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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