: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
