You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize