she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
