I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
