he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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