The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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