yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You should frame my arrest warrant.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
