i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
