why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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