You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
