don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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