90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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