i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
