She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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