i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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