end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
