i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
