just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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