All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
