He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
