Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
