I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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