every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
