so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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