but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
