Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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