so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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