i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
