i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
