so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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