ya dads aren't the best wingmen
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
