So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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