her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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