butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
