everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
