Where is the hickey?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
